Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to SMeyer.
Thank you to all the readers!
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EPOV (Chapter 14)
“Because, you make me want to hate you,” Bella whispered.
No
A wave of anger washed over me as I blindly reached for her, preparing to shake those words out of her system.
“No!” I yelled, giving in and shaking her once, losing control of myself. All I could see and hear was the crashing red haze of my emotions.
This is not happening. She is my mate; she can’t feel this way about me!
Bella started struggling against me and I looked at her face.
Anger. There was absolute anger in her expression and through our new bond. I could feel the truth behind her words and they were unlike anything that I had ever experienced before in my life. I thought I understood the meaning of the word “hate” but this was so pure and it was aimed at me.
She was fire and she was burning me.
I tried to harden myself to her onslaught of heated emotions, but it kept managing to find a way through the cracks I let exist. Her hate flowed all the way to the muscle in my chest that was rapidly beating with a new tempo and was quickly starting to ache.
She can’t do this. This was not suppose to happen.
“You are my mate…we are meant to be together for the rest of our lives; we must be each other’s support, truest friend, soulmates, as well as lo…” I whispered, not being able to finish my words as the ache in my chest started to swallow up every other emotion.
I let go of her and practically ran out the door before I gave in to that ache in front of her.
Before I knew it, I was at the edge of the woods. Coming to an abrupt halt near the tree line, I turned and sat at the base of the closest tree, using its length for support.
Visions of Bella’s face as she said those words to me were on a mental loop in my head, torturing me with the vividness of the reality of our situation.
The ache came back and flared through my chest. I reached up and tried to ease it with my hand, rubbing slowly in circles. It did nothing to help as the ache was inside me. Bella and I knew very little of each other, but somehow she knew just what to say to hurt me.
Was I really so terrible? I was told that I could be intimidating or come across as stand-offish, but was I so bad to warrant this reaction?
I had finally found my mate and she hates me.
Another pang hit me in the chest and the need to touch her was looming large in my thoughts.
Yes, even in this moment, the urge to be with her is strong.
Another side-effect of the imprinting.
Bella was supposed to become my truest friend and wife. I knew that she showed herself to be a good friend to my sister and Rose. Emmett adored her and thought of her as his little sister. It was also clear that Mom loved her as much as she loved me and Alice. She treated Bella like her own daughter.
She was to be my everything, and I could easily see that happening with her. I wanted it to happen. Bella was pretty, smart and kind. She stood by her beliefs even if they went against the more popular thought around her. She had proven this again and again in our shared classes at school. She cared about the people around her. The stunt Lauren pulled exposed Bella’s thoughtfulness for other people, as she jumped in to help students she even didn’t know. I didn’t know that many people, including adults, who displayed this level of integrity.
“She would make an excellent mate to a leader,” my subconscious said.
“I know,” I responded.
I just didn’t know how to get on the right footing with her. I tried by getting her to talk to me, but she freaked out earlier. What did I need to do to get us to not argue?
I must have sat there for awhile, as the shadows of the trees moved along the grass, but I barely acknowledged it as my head was filled with Bella and our argument. The urge to go back to the cabin and make her see reason became less and less tempting, as uncertainty settled into some of the spaces between my thoughts. Finally, I knew that I needed to speak to someone who would not judge me and who would hopefully offer some advice about Bella.
Reaching into my pocket, I was relieved to find that I did have my cellphone with me. I hit the number three speed dial. After two rings, I heard the questioning voice of my twin.
“Edward?” Alice asked in disbelief.
“Hi Alice,” I replied.
She burst in to tears and cried for about a minute before she was able to compose herself enough to speak. I felt myself wanting to reach through the phone to hold her like I did when we were younger and she was upset about something. I didn’t like to see my twin in pain.
“I’m sorry, I’m just so happy to hear your voice…no Jasper, I’m okay, I’m sorry…it’s Edward,” she said, first speaking to me and then to her mate.
I could hear Jasper’s muted tones in the background on Alice’s end of the line.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to cry. I was just so worried about you yesterday. I knew you were trying to put on a brave face for all of us. I’m just glad you and Bella are okay,” Alice got out in a rush.
“We’re…okay,” I said a little dejectedly.
“What’s wrong?” Alice jumped on my tone of voice immediately.
“I…we…we got in to a fight. She said…” I stopped, trying to collect myself as the ache in my chest squeezed my heart. “Bella doesn’t like me,” I finally got out.
Alice went quiet on the other end, but I knew she was still there by the sounds of her breathing.
“Alice, what do I do?” I asked.
“Edward, you need to make friends with Bella,” she said calmly. “You didn’t exactly endear yourself to her when you first met, you know.”
“I tried to talk to her this morning, but she ended up telling me that I make her want to hate me,” I said, my voice rising.
“Calm down Edward. Like I said, you didn’t do much to make her like you. She’s a bit skittish around you because she thinks that you don’t like her,” Alice advised.
“Okay…so, how do I get her to like me?” I asked.
All went quiet again for a few seconds until I heard Alice burst into laughter.
“What’s so funny?” I asked defensively.
“Twin, do you just ask me how to woo a girl?” Alice asked between giggles.
“Alice…”
“Sorry, I just never heard you sounding so unsure of yourself before.”
“Seriously Alice, I don’t know what to do here! I called to ask for your help…”
“Edward, you need to relax,” Alice said, cutting me off before I could continue. “You need to try to refrain from pushing her into a corner. I know you like to get your way, but instead of telling her what to do, you need to offer her choices or ask her what she wants.”
“I don’t tell her what to do…”
“Twin, just listen to me, I know her better than you. You need to show her the sweet guy that I know you to be. Show her the same consideration you show me and Mom. Bella would appreciate that. I know she likes to cook. Compliment her cooking, or continue what Mom has you guys do after a meal, clean the dishes. Just little things like that are important.”
“Anything else?” I asked, a little unsure of my Twin’s suggestions.
“I know the emotional connection is a little weird at first, but it’s important that you get used to it. Try to do more calming activities together if you can. Jasper and I spent the first day just laying on the couch and watching movies. Why don’t you see if she would be open to doing something similar?”
“Just spend the day relaxing? I don’t know that much about her except what you and a few others have told me. I thought I should be asking her questions, trying to find out her likes and dislikes,” I asked.
“Try starting out doing something small like watching a movie together. If you pay attention to how she reacts, you’ll find out more about her that way as well,” Alice countered.
Thinking Alice’s suggestions over in my head, I realized that the “asking questions” route didn’t work so well this morning. Instead, it blew up in my face. Maybe a day of just hanging out and watching movies or something might work. I didn’t have to try to dig for questions to ask her.
“Edward? Remember to ask her for her opinion. Try to treat her like you would treat me or Rose,” Alice said softly.
“Okay,” I replied, feeling a little better with a plan in place.
“One more thing, Twin,” Alice said, bringing me out of my thoughts.
“What?” I asked.
“I have faith that you can do this. I think that you and Bella, with time and work, will be good for each other.”
“You think so?” I asked, hopefully. Having to put myself out there like this, with a girl, was completely new to me.
“I know so,” she replied without hesitation.
“Thanks, Alice. It’s getting dark here and I should go back to the cabin,” I said.
“You’re welcome, anytime.” She replied, back to her chipper self.
“I’ll see you Thursday,” I told her, then ended the call.
Pushing the phone back into my pocket, I looked up, and it was indeed dark out. I knew that I could get lost in my thoughts if given the chance, but never like this.
I had hoped that when I finally mated, everything would be easier for me, but nothing went how I imagined it would go for me. It was the total opposite. Bella was an enigma, one I found out the hard way would take a lot of work to decode. If Alice was correct, her plan would require a lot of patience on my end; something that I wasn’t always good at being with others.
Still, I would have to try, Bella was my mate. My mate. Not the fantasy in my head for all those years.
Getting up from the ground and stretching my stiff limbs, I had to acknowledge the pull to go back to Bella was becoming too much for me to ignore. I needed to be near her. I just hoped that Alice’s ideas worked. I really wanted Bella to like me, more than I ever wanted someone to like me before.
Just, please, Bella. Please be open to me.
